selfish surrender

This title may seem strange to read but this can be so completely true.  Why do you choose to surrender whatever you are called to surrender to God?  Is it possessions?  Singleness?  Finances?  Family?  What is God calling you to surrender?  Now, when He asks us to surrender, did you know that we are not supposed to bargain with God?  Many decide that when they surrender their desires to God that He will automatically return the favor in fulfilling the desires almost as soon as the desires are His again.  Um, not true.  There are so many out there (and I cannot explain this to any of them without hurt on the other side) that believe that when they give something to God, that they are going to expect something almost immediately in return.  A lot of the reason why God asks us to give things to Him is so that we can selfLESSLY serve Him.  When we expect Him to give us our desires back in a timely manner then we are not holding God to the standard that He calls us to.  God promised us that He would be with us if we gave our everything to Him.  He did not promise comfort, security, marriage, family, wealth.  None of that.  He just promised that He would walk with us every step of the way.  When we start putting God in a box that He is automatically going to pull through because you gave something up to Him, then He will probably hold out that completing or giving back our desires because we actually have not given Him everything.  We still hold out that as soon as we "stop looking" then it's going to be given to us.  Ha.  I have done this and sometimes still do.  But, have you noticed that nothing has happened yet?  It's probably because you still have one eye looking around instead of both on God.  Like I said I do this too.  When we surrender anything and everything to Him, He wants us to give our all, not just part of it.  So we need to give and surrender selflessly.  Surrendering selflessly basically means to give God everything and just live for Him.  Not holding out hope that the future that you have been waiting for is right around the corner.  But, more living your life that whatever happens is all for the glory of Him.  When we basically forget about the world and live for Him, SELFLESSLY, that's when He is able to grant our desires because He knows that we don't NEED those, but He wants to bless us with them because we are faithfully following His commands.  So, I will challenge myself as well as you to selflessly surrender your life and your all to the glory of God's kingdom.

giving things up for God

I miss my family.  I'll shout it from the rooftops if I could see them today.  I have not seen them in almost two months.  I know that sounds insane but seriously, we are all so close.  I cannot imagine how my brother and sister-in-law do it (they live in North Carolina).  All I want to do is get a hug from my parents and kiss on my nieces and nephews and just be able to SEE my family.

I was lying in my bed thinking about them when, of course, I started getting teary-eyed.  I heard God ask me, "What would happen if they were not here tomorrow?"  That is when I started bawling.  I could not imagine my life without my family the way that it is now!  I miss them terribly, but what would happen if I no longer had them at all?  Why was God asking me this question?  Why was He putting me through the possibility of never seeing my family again, when that is all I longed for?!  But, I suddenly realized, He wasn't putting me through any of that to put me through pain, He was asking me could I live with only God in my life?  Was I able to give all of these people who mean so much to me, to God?  I not only have been purging my life of things that mean nothing to be but God was asking me to give those who are dearest to me over to Him.  That is a hard pill to swallow.

I am sure as parents, most people would say that they needed to be with their children all the time just to make sure that their children were safe.  Trust me, I just had this conversation with my mother.  But, God does not ask us to hold on to those thins.  He actually asks us to give those things over to Him because He has a plan for those people.  He asks us to trust that He is taking care of them.  Who better to take care of those that we hold dearest to us, than Him?  That night I felt a peace of knowing that if my family were gone tomorrow, that I will still be satisfied with just God.  I say that like it's a bad thing.  I will be satisfied with Just God!  How can I live a life WITHOUT God?  So, I am satisfied with God.  I don't need anything else.  I want those people in my life because I love them so much it hurts.  But, being asked that question brought a new perspective in my life that I never thought possible.  He not only was asking me to give those people over to Him but He was asking me to give ME over to Him.  Ha.  Gladly!  Thank you God for asking me the difficult questions so I know that You are who I can lean on. :)

Are you satisfied with only God?

I have been asking myself this question for some time now.  Not only with earthly relationships but with everything in general.  Am I really satisfied with only God?  I have to honestly say that I am scared to have only God because I have not known that part of my life for very long.  I'm being honest right?  What about you?  Are you scared for it to only be you and God?  Can you give you your life of comfortablility if He asked you to? 

Many people shy away from this question because they don't want to give up what they know.  Well, if God is asking you to give up everything, then you better do it.  This does not mean that God asks everyone to give up all of their belongings, friendships, family, life all the time.  I mean, He has the authority to do so but that does not mean that is right for you.  He could ask me tomorrow to sell or give away all of my possessions and live in a cardboard box.  This is when I ask myself, am I able to do this?  I will admit that this is a scary thought and I do selfishly still want to hang on to a few things because it's what I know.  But, this past week I started looking at what I own in my tiny apartment and realized that most of my stuff, I never use.  Then why do I have it?  I am not saying any of this to put myself on a pedestal.  I do, however, want you to think about why you have what you have?  I went through my items, and got rid of what I don't use or what I have not used in a while and packed up all of it.  I logically asked myself, "Am I keeping this because it glorifies God?"  There are a few things I kept because as an educator (or future educator) I am going to need some things to teach my kids.  There are also things I kept that if people came over that they would feel comfortable and I can show them who God is.  Other than those two reasons, I pretty much got rid of what I didn't need.  It's a tough thing to do but let me tell you, it is so liberating.  So, my question is are you completely satisfied with only God?

Valentine's Day

Okay, so I know I'm a few days late on this post but that's okay.  Better late than never.  But, speaking of Valentine's Day and all the craziness about it.  First of all, I have never been big on Valentine's Day... probably because it always reminds me that the person I am going to be spending it with is not here right now.  But, I realized something tonight.  For those of you who are single and hate Valentine's Day, write your loved one a letter!  Seriously!  In a way, you get to surprise them with it in the future and you get to talk to your future spouse!  So, instead of looking at Valentine's Day as something to mourn over, I decided to take action and use if for a better cause.  Yeah, I did spend Valentine's Day physically alone, but first of all it was amazing!  I watched a dramatic movie, ate chocolate filled with caramel, drank sparkling grape juice and had a crazy Mexican meal!  And, then?  I wrote my future husband a Valentine's Day love letter!  So, all of you who are single, write or do something for your future Valentine!  Do something special and then put it in a keepsake box to give it to them when the time comes around!  I cannot wait to see his face when he opens it.  That I've waited this long to give him a little letter.  But, it'll mean that much more to him when he opens it. 

Also, remember that God loves you more than you could ever imagine.  So, when you think you don't have a valentine to spend the day with, remember that you can spend ALL DAY with God, no matter where you are and have the best valentine.  No one can compare with that!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

Hillsong's "The Stand"

This song hit me hard today!  As in I was cleaning my apartment and then I had to stop because I was completely overwhelmed by God.  It is amazing how He can pull us out of the mundane routine of life and show us who He is.  Amazing!

You stood before creation
Eternity in Your hand
And You spoke the earth into motion
My soul now to stand
You stood before my failure
And carried the cross for my shame
My sin weighed upon your shoulders
My soul now to stand

So what could I say?
And shat can I do?
But offer this heart, oh God
Completely to you

So I walk upon salvation
Your spirit alive in me
This life to declare your promise
My soul now to stand.

So I'll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the one who gave it all
So I'll stand
My soul Lord to you surrendered
All I am is yours