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Thursday, April 28, 2011

patience

You know, patience is a horrible word!  Ha.  I mean this in a good way.  We ask for more patience or better ways of handling our "right now" society.  And then.... God grants that to us by allowing obstacles to get in our way on a busy day, when we're running late, in a traffic jam.  Yep... pretty much.  However, what about our lives?  Are we patient about where God is taking us or when we're going to get there?  A lot of people always say, "It's the journey, not the destination."  Do you really believe that?  I know that I have had struggles with this in the past and off and on now.  My college career ends in 6 days.  Count them: 6!  Where am I going after this?  I don't have a job, I don't have money, I have a place to stay, but nowhere to live on my own.  I am turning 25 this year and I'm pretty much starting at square one.

I am reading this book called "In Step With God".  Each night I read a little more and I'm noticing a pattern.  Uh, patience is written EVERYWHERE!  Well, maybe not in the exact word but in scenarios.  I mean, Noah and the Ark for one.  Yeah, I'm not sure if I could have enough patience to build a boat that size let alone for 120 years!  I would feel like, "Seriously!  Just give it up already!"  But, God does not call us to be of this world.  We are called to glorify Him and if He asks us to wait 120 years before a promise is fulfilled you better believe that I'm going to be on that train!  I'm constantly learning all the time but the best part is, I'm constantly learning what God has for me.  Not necessarily in a job, relationship, living arrangements, or such.. but what He desires me to do in order to serve Him.  I mean, it may be in those things above but if not then I'm okay with that.  It's a big bite to chew, but I'm going to be okay with that, when He asks me to do whatever He does.  I love Him with everything I have... including my nonexistent apartment items.. haha.  So, in order to know what God wants for me?  I must wait, and be patient until He tells me to jump with both feet and as high as I can!  Just look up John Waller's "While I'm Waiting" and that's pretty much what God asks us to do in the mean time.  I'll post those words up too in my next blog.  So wait for God, He has so much planned for you!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Trusting Him in the tough times

Right before bed tonight I said, "Man, God, I really want to blog right now."  So, I went to lay down and picked up my book that I'm currently reading called "In Step with God: Understanding His Ways and Plans for Your Life".  Ha.  Well, first, I started this book because I'm soon ending my chapter of college and have been praying to know what's next with my life.  Well, tonight's emphasis was on trusting Him through the tough times.  I can honestly say, this last week has SUCKED!  Finances, energy down, my knee gives out, my ankle doesn't want to walk, I may have stress fractures in my right foot, my consultant tore me up, my kids aren't listening at school...... you can say that I have not had the best week ever.  But at the same time, I have.  If you read my last blog, I talked about selling all of my stuff... Well, I've advertised them now, so yeah.  But, I realized I was having a difficult time, not getting rid of my stuff, but trusting God with..... EVERYTHING!  I mean, I cannot live this life alone.  I cannot do this without Him.  I am not sure how people do.  Life is tough enough, why put yourself through living it alone!

Anyway, this section of the book was talking about God stretching our faith and trust in Him by allowing things in our lives to take place.  If we choose not to follow Him, then He lets us do it our way for a while and then we go, "Crap... okay, I need You!"  When our whole lives fall apart we need to take a step back and ask ourselves why?  Could it be we're doing something right and Satan is attacking us?  Or could it be that we are not following God in EVERYTHING and so Satan and the world are seeping in?  Satan wants to destroy us no matter what!  If we are following what God commands us to, Satan will try and find ways to do that.  Well, I've had sexual sin in my past (which I'm now free of for four and a half months, by God's grace!) which Satan used.  However, now that I am following God more I have had attacks more now on my integrity, self-esteem, confidence, image (working on this one), future.... you name it.  A lot of this stuff are things that I cannot control (meaning Satan has the control over who tries to destroy these).  I chose the sexual sin that Satan put in front of me... but I don't choose the people or things that attack me.  HOWEVER, I do choose whether or not to allow God to handle it.  Well, last Friday I was not letting Him handle anything.  I can tell you I was falling a part at the seams.  Once I started listening to Him on my long drive home, it hit me like a ton of bricks.  I am not trusting God to handle any of it.... I'm trying to handle it on my own.  God is in control ALL the time.... He doesn't need us to complete His will.  He would LOVE to use us to do so but it's our choice to let Him and listen to Him.  I did decide at the beginning of this week that if God wants me to live on the streets and still go to school, then that's what I'm going to do.  I must trust that He has my future laid out.  I have been guilty of this too, but putting God in a box to fit our standards and life ALWAYS hurt us.  Letting God show us our future through Him ALWAYS blesses us.  Which one do you want?  God gave me the ability to choose this one this week because I let Him in.  Are you letting Him in?  Are you trusting Him with everything you have and more?

Monday, April 11, 2011

catching up

I have not been able to blog a lot lately, though I have such a desire to.  So, I figured while I have a few minutes that I could share with you a little bit on what God has been teaching me lately.  My goodness, He has been teaching me to trust, be faithful, love, obey, stretch (my faith), and rely on Him for everything.  Recently, I have come into a situation with money, living on my own and all, that requires me to sell my possessions.  It's quite funny because I have had Ginny Owens' song stuck in my head. "If You Want Me To".  I truly believe this is for a reason. 

Jesus did call His disciples to take up their cross and follow Him.  He asked them to leave everything behind in order to follow in God's footsteps.  Okay, well, I never really thought I would have to actually leave EVERYTHING behind to do this.  But, I am.  In the past, I thought giving up DVDs was bad.... but sitting here thinking about it, I'm not upset about any of it.  God is teaching me so much about the fact that only He matters.  That He is our constant.  That He is our provider.  I am richer than I realize.  Even giving things away or selling these items still makes me richer than a lot of those who do not have a personal relationship with Him.  I could literally have nothing and have everything I need.  I had been praying a lot lately that God would show me what all of that means.  I now have come to that point.  I am very much humbled by this.  I don't have words to convey how much my heart beats for Him.  So in order to know more about my God, He is asking me to give everything up, literally.  I whole heartedly believe that He wants me to see that He is my all.  He is my provider if I let Him be.  I just need to let Him be God.  I have not done this lately.  I apologize to all of you for that.  Not because I "feel bad" about it.... but because He asks me to ask you for forgiveness.  I have led people astray and misguided them... even if I unintentionally did this.  Living my life out for God and living it so people get to know Him better is what I'm supposed to do.  I am not doing this holding on to everything I own.  I am not telling you this for sympathy, I'm telling you this in hopes and prayers that when God calls you to do something for Him, that you are able to do so.  That you trust Him enough to let go.  I am always working on this. 

Please pray for those who are called into God's work.  Pray for those that are asked to lead by His Word and live by it.  Pray for those who see those obeying God that they will one day be able to take up their cross and leave everything and follow Him.  Praise the Lord for the opportunities that He gives us to show the world who He truly is!