"If it's not for sale, take it down!!"

In some of my past blogs, I have talked about this very thing.  I'm sure you've guessed it by now.  Mark Driscoll's series "The Peasant Princess" is such a great series for both men and women.  I encourage you to read, watch, listen to it.  It provides so much insight into how a godly marriage should be that it's ridiculous.  I've taken four pages of notes on just that series. 

Anyway, this quote did not come from him but in his last sermon on the above series, he is reading out of Song of Songs.  I am not sure of the passage...... I will look it up and get back to you, but he reads out of this book and near the end "My Beloved" (it never mentions her name) talks about how she grew up being a wall and not a door.  She was building up the wall in her life to avoid men who were not godly and ones who wanted her for her body.  She refused to be with those men and she wanted what God wanted for her.  She was not the typical "Hollywood" beauty but she still refused the men around her until the perfect one came along.  The door, as I am sure that you can imagine, is that person that opens up to anyone who asks or knocks.  Anytime someone gives them the attention, they give them the go ahead to do whatever they please.  Too many women, and men, these days give themselves away too early in life.  Sometimes, it's not their fault, it could be because they were abused or raped.  These are extreme cases but they happen too often.  However, those who are freely giving themselves away to those around them are seriously seeking the wrong counsel.  God is the only one the can fill that void. 

I may not have been in sexual relations with anyone but I can honestly say.... this is the first time publicly that I will announce this.... that I have been in sexual sin.  I know that part was already mentioned before... but pornography was (and sometimes) my sexual sin.  I allowed images to flood my mind and crowd my thoughts.  God was desperately reaching out for me and I was resisting Him.  I was putting up the sign in my heart that I was available for anyone to come and take.  I may not have physically acted that way WITH anyone but I did in my heart, my mind and my soul.  I refused God.  I can honestly say now that I have been seeking Him with all my heart, my desires to watch things I shouldn't or listen to things I shouldn't have gone away.  There are times when I'm tempted but I consciously make that decision that I will not let it affect me and I turn to read about the one who truly has my heart.  I took that sign down!  I encourage those who have been in sexual sin or are currently in sexual sin, that you allow God to capture your heart.  Allow Him to be the center and give Him everything you have.  We are ALL tempted.  Being tempted is not a sin.  You must realize this.  It's what you do with that temptation that determines whether or not you sin.  Remember that the Devil tempted Jesus ALL THE TIME.... but Jesus refused EVERY TIME!!! Take your sign down and hand it over to God.   I'll pray that your heart yearns to repent to Him.  Pray for me as well that I continue to stay strong.  I really do love those who I am able to reach with this.  I just pray that you give God your all and never look back.

becoming the right woman

In the last blog, I mentioned how you (and I) need to be searching after God's own heart in order to be that person that God wants us to be for our future spouses.  I cannot emphasize this enough.  Honestly.  I am learning, slowly, but I am learning to be the kind of person that God desires me to be in Him.  I am becoming the right woman.  In "Your Knight in Shining Armor" by P.B.Wilson, she talks about if we are not changed on the inside according to the ways of God.... you could be staring into the eyes of your future spouse and not even know it because your heart is not in the right place.  THIS SCARES ME!!! You mean, I could have already met my future spouse, but because I my heart was not right with God, I didn't know it?!  This very well could be true.  That does not mean that we will never be with that person, it just means that we're not ready.  But, think about it.  Why would you want to wait to get closer to God?  In general, yeah, having the bonus of marrying our future spouse is going to be phenomenal.  God intends it to be.  But, without God being the center of our lives or our marriage, where do you really think that relationship is going to go?  You could lose your spouse later in life.  Or you could even lose your future spouse before you ever get the chance of living that dream we always think about.  If any of this happens (not saying it will, but I'm positive I am not the only one who has known this to happen), what do you have left?  If you have not been seeking God, then where are you going to turn?  If you have been seeking God, then He can carry you through that time.  HE IS ALWAYS THERE!!!!!! Your future spouse may not always be there.  There will be a time when you are no longer together.  In order for you to know and be able to go through this life as the "right woman" then seek after GOD.  God is the only thing that is constant and becoming the right woman will always start with Him.

a man after God's own heart

Okay, this may sound strange, but this goes for men too.... as in "a woman after God's own heart".  One thing I have discovered is that when you set your sights on someone who tries to please God with everything that they are and then somewhere (it will happen because they're human) down the road, they disappoint God with their actions, words, or lack thereof, their heart breaks.  This is a person that you should never let go of.  This person will be a great partner for the rest of your life because not only will they follow the path that God has set out for them, they will challenge you to do the same.  And who is better than two people who love each other that love God?  The more that those two seek after what God wants for them, then they will draw closer to one another.  That is an amazing concept.  I mean logically, I knew this to be true.... but when I heard the demonstration of the triangle effect with a husband and a wife and God being the center of their relationship, it made total sense to me.  I mean, I knew this analogy but after reading about the kind of love that God wants me to have, I totally get it!  Well, you can imagine that God is at the top of the triangle.  The husband is one of the other corners of the triangle and the wife is in the last corner of the triangle.  When both of these people seek to be closer to God and want more of their life to be the way that God wants it to be then naturally they start drawing closer to each other.  I LOVE THIS CONCEPT!!! I may be single right now, but I am falling in love with God more by the minute and I cannot stop reading about Him.  Because of this, I know that if I have the desire to get married but I patiently wait for my future husband in the meantime love God more.... I know that I will draw closer to my husband too.  I have to remember that this is NOT the reason to draw closer to God.  I am drawing closer to God because I want to know God.  My future marriage is just a massive bonus!  So, seek after someone who does not want to disappoint God.  And if you want that, be that person that seeks after God to not disappoint Him.  You will be amazed at what you learn and find out.  I know I am learning a lot and I cannot wait to share with you what I learn in the future.

unrealistic expectations

My whole life I've been asked, "What kind of guy are you looking for?"  I always thought about it and gave my selfish point of view of what kind of man that I always wanted.  The typical immature female answer is the perfect guy, who basically is prince charming with no flaws or imperfections and does everything I ask him to do with no complaining or questions asked.  Well, I have to say that was my really young point of view on what I wanted for my future husband.  As I have been discovering who God is and who I am in God... I have discovered a few things across different materials that I am reading and viewing.  Because I am single, I really have no right to decide what standards my future husband should have.  I mean, I know that I am not perfect and why should I expect him to be that way?  God should be what sets my standards.  If my heart wants what God wants, then God will give me someone that I never would have chosen for myself and that makes everything better.  "God gives His best to those who leave the choice to Him."  This quote is SOOO true.  There are so many times in my life (not romantically) where God provided for me or my family in a way that we never thought possible.  We prayed and left our lives up to Him and He gave us what we needed and then some.  He is always faithful.  So from here on out, I am praying that my mind and my heart change with the kind of guy that "I" want to who is the man that God has for me?  I have been listening to Mark Driscoll's series on "The Peasant Princess" and he had many questions relayed to him about what a single person's standard of beauty should be.  Mark's response was that a single's standard of beauty for their spouse should be that of what God wants for that person.  We, singles, should not have a standard of beauty because then we are letting the world decide what that is.  When we let God take over our minds and hearts then what reflects in our everyday lives will then reflect who God is.  When we do this, we see people in a different light and the "standard of beauty" that the world may have could be all washed away because now you are looking through the eyes of the one who created you.  Your standard of beauty is now what God wants for you instead of what you or others want for you.  I cannot wait for that day when God reveals to me who my future spouse is because after that, I know that my standard for my future spouse will have exceeded my expectations (because I didn't have any in the first place, other than God is taking care of it).  That will be a gorgeous day!

"Your Knight in Shining Armor"

I just got finished with this book called "Your Knight in Shining Armor" by P.B. Wilson.  It's a great book.  It's mainly directed towards single females but I've come to the conclusion that even single men can read these books because it not only describes the types of relationship you should have with your spouse but also the relationship that you should be having with Jesus.  It may seem a little girly but trust me, you will get things out of it that you never thought you could. 

Anyway, I've been reading this book and so I've been taking lots of notes.  So the next, who knows how many blogs, will be on this book, in case you are wondering.  This book is obviously for a single woman (or man) trying to find their knight in shining armor.  However, many single women that I have talked to (and are frustrated that they don't have their knight in shining armor yet) have yet to discover that they already have one.  Yes, this book talks about how you should be getting ready for your future spouse but it also asks that the person reading the book take 6 months out of their lives just to dedicate it to Jesus.  I find this an amazing feet with the way that the single women of this society constantly think about their future spouse.  Why not think about Jesus as much as you think about who your future spouse is?  You should actually be thinking of him more than your future spouse.  Your future spouse should be second on your list.  To those of you who do not have a significant other yet, then you should be constantly focusing on how to make your relationship better in Christ.  I know these last few days, all I have been doing is reading.  I seriously cannot get enough right now of what God is teaching me about myself, my future spouse, and especially Him. 

One thing in this book that I really liked was the first analogy that P.B. uses.  Because I do not have a potential suitor right now, my earthly love life is under construction as well as my spiritual life.  My spiritual life is being constructed by the one who made me.  I am enjoying being built everyday to become the person that He wants me to be in Him.  Anyway, the analogy that she uses is "have you ever taken a look through a peephole at a construction site? The old building has been demolished and a billboard illustrates how the new building will look.  Meanwhile, there is a big hole in the ground where the new foundation is being laid.  If you have the occasion to pass the site daily, you will notice that progress continues to take place even though you may not have clue about what the construction crews are doing.  Before long, the building will be ready for its intended purpose."  I love this analogy because as Christians this is our whole lives.  We are constantly being constructed for God, if you are actively seeking Him.  Some people fall by the wayside but once they come back on the path, that construction, you realize, has never stopped.  God constructs us to be amazing people for Him.  As a person who is not involved with anyone right now, I can honestly and earnestly say that God is the center of my life.... at least this week.  I will stumble and fall but I know that He is right there to pick me back up and walk with Him again.  He is my Knight in Shining Armor!!

chicken vs. abstinence

I was watching like 5 minutes of Oprah today and the part that I was watching made perfect sense with saving yourself for marriage.  Okay a little background:

Oprah had a chef on her show cooking with a full chicken.  The chef said that you are supposed to tie the legs together of the chicken.  Not because this is a "fancy" way of cooking chicken but because it cooks the meat thoroughly.  If the legs are not tied together then there are parts of the chicken that are not ready to eat when the rest of the chicken could overcook because those parts of the chicken are not ready to eat.

This is the same with saving yourself for marriage.  You stay abstinent for your marriage and you will be able to give your complete self to your spouse.  If you don't save yourself there are parts of you that may never be ready to marry and give yourself to your spouse.  I'm not saying that you will never be able to but it will take longer to get ready to be ready for your future spouse. 

Now I know this seems a little far fetched in ways but honestly if you think about it.... it's so true.  If you refuse to follow the path that God has for you and you won't prepare yourself for your future spouse then you could possibly be emotionally and spiritually scarred forever.  God has such a big plan for all of you who are single or not married yet.  Save this part of yourself because just imagine the kind of life you could save yourself from if you do not give in to the worldly pressures but give in to the hand of God.  I know it's hard.... I'm still going through hearing the "it's okay" or "no one else has to know" voices in my head.  But the harder I push those away the easier it is for God to intervene and care for His children.  So let Him care for you and give in to Him and not the world.  You won't regret it.  I know I never will.