You know, these last few months have been a whirlwind. Been unemployed, been employed, then let go, and jobless while trying to build a business living out of my parents' house that I've lived in since I was born. Not really a college graduates dream life, right? Well, I was very much under today. Well first it was storming outside and quite honestly all I wanted to do was stay under the covers and just sleep through it. Why? Probably because Satan was attacking me and telling me that I am not good enough. Honestly, you cannot tell me that you've never felt this way. It just plain old sucks! I was unmotivated, unhappy, depressed... how in the world can this all happen in one day to the next? I was just fine yesterday! However, the moment we let our guard down is the moment that we'll come under fire!
I haven't been in the word the way that I should be or the way that I was back when I was actually extremely busy with work, school, business, trying to build a relationship, and actually studying God's word while living on my own and paying my own bills. How was that less stressful than sleeping until I feel like getting up, doing basically what I want when I want with nothing really tying me down............ except.............. the fact that two reasons: one) i don't have a job, therefore no money, therefore I'm practically confined to the house, two) God is not present in my everyday life! So, we're going to fix that! I read more of Proverbs today. I read three chapters on Sunday and then read my goal board (a visible place to put my goals so I cannot shy away from them) and it said to be more in the word everyday. So, I decided to read 5 more chapters of Proverbs. I truly believe I wasn't supposed to read the Bible yesterday. I know weird, because God brought me out of my funk today. He provided the book of the Bible that I needed to read with the chapters on the exact day that I needed them! PRETTY GOSH DARN COOL, if you ask me!
God is bigger than doubt. Not just today but all the time! Today I was reminded of that regardless of my situation, God is bigger than my issues and self-pity. He can pull me out of anything I'm in at all times. Sometimes He lets us "wallow" in it for a while so we can learn to reach out for Him. When we do, our morale perks up as well as the fact that all of that doubt just disappears. Are you doubting God today? Why? What is keeping you from having that relationship with Him? It's a day-by-day basis but everyday it's worth letting go to let GOD!
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
I seriously need to get back to doing this blog
Like for real... there were two things that hit me today like a ton of bricks... I wanted to share them with you. All they are are quotes but nothing really needs to be explained other than just reading them. They made me cry!
"A Time for Remembering" by Ruth Bell Graham
."He must be so tall that when he is on his knees, as one has said, he reaches all the way to heaven. His shoulders
must be broad enough to bear the burden of a family. His lips must be strong enough to smile, firm enough to say no,
and tender enough to kiss. Love must be so deep that it takes its stand in Christ and so wide that it takes the
whole-lost world in. He must be active enough to save souls. He must be big enough to be gentle and great enough
to be thoughtful. His arms must be strong enough to carry a little child."
"What if? What if those deep desires in our hearts are telling us the truth, revealing to us the life we were meant to live? God gave us eyes so that we might see; he gave us ears that we might hear; he gave us wills that we might choose, and he gave us hearts that we might live. The way we handle our heart is everything. A man must know he is powerful; he must know he has what it takes. A woman must know she is beautiful; she must know she is worth fighting for... Your heart may feel dead and gone, but its there. Something wild and strong and valiant, just waiting to be released. ... For if you are going to know who you truly are as a man, if you are going to find a life worth living, if you are going to love a woman deeply and not pass on your confusion to your children, you simply must get your heart back. You must head up into the high country of the soul, into the wild and uncharted regions and track down that elusive prey." -John Eldridge, Wild at Heart |
"A Time for Remembering" by Ruth Bell Graham
."He must be so tall that when he is on his knees, as one has said, he reaches all the way to heaven. His shoulders
must be broad enough to bear the burden of a family. His lips must be strong enough to smile, firm enough to say no,
and tender enough to kiss. Love must be so deep that it takes its stand in Christ and so wide that it takes the
whole-lost world in. He must be active enough to save souls. He must be big enough to be gentle and great enough
to be thoughtful. His arms must be strong enough to carry a little child."
Thursday, April 28, 2011
patience
You know, patience is a horrible word! Ha. I mean this in a good way. We ask for more patience or better ways of handling our "right now" society. And then.... God grants that to us by allowing obstacles to get in our way on a busy day, when we're running late, in a traffic jam. Yep... pretty much. However, what about our lives? Are we patient about where God is taking us or when we're going to get there? A lot of people always say, "It's the journey, not the destination." Do you really believe that? I know that I have had struggles with this in the past and off and on now. My college career ends in 6 days. Count them: 6! Where am I going after this? I don't have a job, I don't have money, I have a place to stay, but nowhere to live on my own. I am turning 25 this year and I'm pretty much starting at square one.
I am reading this book called "In Step With God". Each night I read a little more and I'm noticing a pattern. Uh, patience is written EVERYWHERE! Well, maybe not in the exact word but in scenarios. I mean, Noah and the Ark for one. Yeah, I'm not sure if I could have enough patience to build a boat that size let alone for 120 years! I would feel like, "Seriously! Just give it up already!" But, God does not call us to be of this world. We are called to glorify Him and if He asks us to wait 120 years before a promise is fulfilled you better believe that I'm going to be on that train! I'm constantly learning all the time but the best part is, I'm constantly learning what God has for me. Not necessarily in a job, relationship, living arrangements, or such.. but what He desires me to do in order to serve Him. I mean, it may be in those things above but if not then I'm okay with that. It's a big bite to chew, but I'm going to be okay with that, when He asks me to do whatever He does. I love Him with everything I have... including my nonexistent apartment items.. haha. So, in order to know what God wants for me? I must wait, and be patient until He tells me to jump with both feet and as high as I can! Just look up John Waller's "While I'm Waiting" and that's pretty much what God asks us to do in the mean time. I'll post those words up too in my next blog. So wait for God, He has so much planned for you!
I am reading this book called "In Step With God". Each night I read a little more and I'm noticing a pattern. Uh, patience is written EVERYWHERE! Well, maybe not in the exact word but in scenarios. I mean, Noah and the Ark for one. Yeah, I'm not sure if I could have enough patience to build a boat that size let alone for 120 years! I would feel like, "Seriously! Just give it up already!" But, God does not call us to be of this world. We are called to glorify Him and if He asks us to wait 120 years before a promise is fulfilled you better believe that I'm going to be on that train! I'm constantly learning all the time but the best part is, I'm constantly learning what God has for me. Not necessarily in a job, relationship, living arrangements, or such.. but what He desires me to do in order to serve Him. I mean, it may be in those things above but if not then I'm okay with that. It's a big bite to chew, but I'm going to be okay with that, when He asks me to do whatever He does. I love Him with everything I have... including my nonexistent apartment items.. haha. So, in order to know what God wants for me? I must wait, and be patient until He tells me to jump with both feet and as high as I can! Just look up John Waller's "While I'm Waiting" and that's pretty much what God asks us to do in the mean time. I'll post those words up too in my next blog. So wait for God, He has so much planned for you!
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Trusting Him in the tough times
Right before bed tonight I said, "Man, God, I really want to blog right now." So, I went to lay down and picked up my book that I'm currently reading called "In Step with God: Understanding His Ways and Plans for Your Life". Ha. Well, first, I started this book because I'm soon ending my chapter of college and have been praying to know what's next with my life. Well, tonight's emphasis was on trusting Him through the tough times. I can honestly say, this last week has SUCKED! Finances, energy down, my knee gives out, my ankle doesn't want to walk, I may have stress fractures in my right foot, my consultant tore me up, my kids aren't listening at school...... you can say that I have not had the best week ever. But at the same time, I have. If you read my last blog, I talked about selling all of my stuff... Well, I've advertised them now, so yeah. But, I realized I was having a difficult time, not getting rid of my stuff, but trusting God with..... EVERYTHING! I mean, I cannot live this life alone. I cannot do this without Him. I am not sure how people do. Life is tough enough, why put yourself through living it alone!
Anyway, this section of the book was talking about God stretching our faith and trust in Him by allowing things in our lives to take place. If we choose not to follow Him, then He lets us do it our way for a while and then we go, "Crap... okay, I need You!" When our whole lives fall apart we need to take a step back and ask ourselves why? Could it be we're doing something right and Satan is attacking us? Or could it be that we are not following God in EVERYTHING and so Satan and the world are seeping in? Satan wants to destroy us no matter what! If we are following what God commands us to, Satan will try and find ways to do that. Well, I've had sexual sin in my past (which I'm now free of for four and a half months, by God's grace!) which Satan used. However, now that I am following God more I have had attacks more now on my integrity, self-esteem, confidence, image (working on this one), future.... you name it. A lot of this stuff are things that I cannot control (meaning Satan has the control over who tries to destroy these). I chose the sexual sin that Satan put in front of me... but I don't choose the people or things that attack me. HOWEVER, I do choose whether or not to allow God to handle it. Well, last Friday I was not letting Him handle anything. I can tell you I was falling a part at the seams. Once I started listening to Him on my long drive home, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I am not trusting God to handle any of it.... I'm trying to handle it on my own. God is in control ALL the time.... He doesn't need us to complete His will. He would LOVE to use us to do so but it's our choice to let Him and listen to Him. I did decide at the beginning of this week that if God wants me to live on the streets and still go to school, then that's what I'm going to do. I must trust that He has my future laid out. I have been guilty of this too, but putting God in a box to fit our standards and life ALWAYS hurt us. Letting God show us our future through Him ALWAYS blesses us. Which one do you want? God gave me the ability to choose this one this week because I let Him in. Are you letting Him in? Are you trusting Him with everything you have and more?
Anyway, this section of the book was talking about God stretching our faith and trust in Him by allowing things in our lives to take place. If we choose not to follow Him, then He lets us do it our way for a while and then we go, "Crap... okay, I need You!" When our whole lives fall apart we need to take a step back and ask ourselves why? Could it be we're doing something right and Satan is attacking us? Or could it be that we are not following God in EVERYTHING and so Satan and the world are seeping in? Satan wants to destroy us no matter what! If we are following what God commands us to, Satan will try and find ways to do that. Well, I've had sexual sin in my past (which I'm now free of for four and a half months, by God's grace!) which Satan used. However, now that I am following God more I have had attacks more now on my integrity, self-esteem, confidence, image (working on this one), future.... you name it. A lot of this stuff are things that I cannot control (meaning Satan has the control over who tries to destroy these). I chose the sexual sin that Satan put in front of me... but I don't choose the people or things that attack me. HOWEVER, I do choose whether or not to allow God to handle it. Well, last Friday I was not letting Him handle anything. I can tell you I was falling a part at the seams. Once I started listening to Him on my long drive home, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I am not trusting God to handle any of it.... I'm trying to handle it on my own. God is in control ALL the time.... He doesn't need us to complete His will. He would LOVE to use us to do so but it's our choice to let Him and listen to Him. I did decide at the beginning of this week that if God wants me to live on the streets and still go to school, then that's what I'm going to do. I must trust that He has my future laid out. I have been guilty of this too, but putting God in a box to fit our standards and life ALWAYS hurt us. Letting God show us our future through Him ALWAYS blesses us. Which one do you want? God gave me the ability to choose this one this week because I let Him in. Are you letting Him in? Are you trusting Him with everything you have and more?
Monday, April 11, 2011
catching up
I have not been able to blog a lot lately, though I have such a desire to. So, I figured while I have a few minutes that I could share with you a little bit on what God has been teaching me lately. My goodness, He has been teaching me to trust, be faithful, love, obey, stretch (my faith), and rely on Him for everything. Recently, I have come into a situation with money, living on my own and all, that requires me to sell my possessions. It's quite funny because I have had Ginny Owens' song stuck in my head. "If You Want Me To". I truly believe this is for a reason.
Jesus did call His disciples to take up their cross and follow Him. He asked them to leave everything behind in order to follow in God's footsteps. Okay, well, I never really thought I would have to actually leave EVERYTHING behind to do this. But, I am. In the past, I thought giving up DVDs was bad.... but sitting here thinking about it, I'm not upset about any of it. God is teaching me so much about the fact that only He matters. That He is our constant. That He is our provider. I am richer than I realize. Even giving things away or selling these items still makes me richer than a lot of those who do not have a personal relationship with Him. I could literally have nothing and have everything I need. I had been praying a lot lately that God would show me what all of that means. I now have come to that point. I am very much humbled by this. I don't have words to convey how much my heart beats for Him. So in order to know more about my God, He is asking me to give everything up, literally. I whole heartedly believe that He wants me to see that He is my all. He is my provider if I let Him be. I just need to let Him be God. I have not done this lately. I apologize to all of you for that. Not because I "feel bad" about it.... but because He asks me to ask you for forgiveness. I have led people astray and misguided them... even if I unintentionally did this. Living my life out for God and living it so people get to know Him better is what I'm supposed to do. I am not doing this holding on to everything I own. I am not telling you this for sympathy, I'm telling you this in hopes and prayers that when God calls you to do something for Him, that you are able to do so. That you trust Him enough to let go. I am always working on this.
Please pray for those who are called into God's work. Pray for those that are asked to lead by His Word and live by it. Pray for those who see those obeying God that they will one day be able to take up their cross and leave everything and follow Him. Praise the Lord for the opportunities that He gives us to show the world who He truly is!
Jesus did call His disciples to take up their cross and follow Him. He asked them to leave everything behind in order to follow in God's footsteps. Okay, well, I never really thought I would have to actually leave EVERYTHING behind to do this. But, I am. In the past, I thought giving up DVDs was bad.... but sitting here thinking about it, I'm not upset about any of it. God is teaching me so much about the fact that only He matters. That He is our constant. That He is our provider. I am richer than I realize. Even giving things away or selling these items still makes me richer than a lot of those who do not have a personal relationship with Him. I could literally have nothing and have everything I need. I had been praying a lot lately that God would show me what all of that means. I now have come to that point. I am very much humbled by this. I don't have words to convey how much my heart beats for Him. So in order to know more about my God, He is asking me to give everything up, literally. I whole heartedly believe that He wants me to see that He is my all. He is my provider if I let Him be. I just need to let Him be God. I have not done this lately. I apologize to all of you for that. Not because I "feel bad" about it.... but because He asks me to ask you for forgiveness. I have led people astray and misguided them... even if I unintentionally did this. Living my life out for God and living it so people get to know Him better is what I'm supposed to do. I am not doing this holding on to everything I own. I am not telling you this for sympathy, I'm telling you this in hopes and prayers that when God calls you to do something for Him, that you are able to do so. That you trust Him enough to let go. I am always working on this.
Please pray for those who are called into God's work. Pray for those that are asked to lead by His Word and live by it. Pray for those who see those obeying God that they will one day be able to take up their cross and leave everything and follow Him. Praise the Lord for the opportunities that He gives us to show the world who He truly is!
Sunday, March 20, 2011
God is amazing
Okay, so I know we all know this.... BUT IT'S SO TRUE!! I have been thinking a lot about my husband lately and how much I am blessed to have him. God has given me such a great man to fall in love with and be with forever because we both have sought after God's heart. Now, I don't know him or who he is or what he looks like. I don't know his name, his likes or dislikes. His pet peeves, what makes him happy. I don't know what he's been through or what we're going to go through together. All I know is that I am so deeply, intensely, genuinely, passionately, severely, profoundly, extremely, completely in love with my God and my husband. I'm so overwhelmed with emotion and feeling about both of them, I could scream, shout, dance, whatever! As long as everyone knows that I'm taken by the men in my life that I am so happy to have just for me! Sigh........ AHHHHHH!!!! I can say.... I am in love. :)
answering to God
Recently, different conversations I have had with different people have been telling on what the world is actually thinking and believing. I mean, I am almost positive that there are certain things that I think too that probably aren't right and when I know what those are I guarantee the Holy Spirit will tell me.
Anyway, those different people that I talk to have shared with me about looking around them and seeing what others are doing and feeling pressured to do the same. This could be anything! Not just the "normal" things that pop in our heads. But, if you REALLY think about it, who are we answering to at the end of it all? Are we going to be compared by the people around us when time passes and we are called home? Not at all. God is the ultimate judge of how we were able to show the world His love. I am very much to blame as well when it comes to comparing myself with others.
But, what to do from here on out? Change. Obviously, it's much easier said than done but it's possible. With God's help, anything is possible. Referring back to Him and allowing Him to take control of our thoughts, feelings, and desires is very difficult to do so but when we do, our thoughts, feelings, and desires change because He is the focus of them. I could say, "Stop it! Stop comparing yourself to others!" But, I would be a hypocrite because I do the same thing. I know that I am going to be praying that God take those away from me. I pray for you as well that you are able to do so. The way to change this is to pray and leave it for God. He can take care of that for us. We just need to believe and trust that He will. So, instead of comparing and "answering" to everyone else.... listen to God. Who cares what they think?! God is ALWAYS going to be there.... those people? May not be. If they believe and turn themselves over to the One true God, then you will see them forever... but even then, no one will care because it's all about serving Him in the end. I love all of you out there that read about God and are trying to live your life for Him. And those who are not... I love you too. I pray for both groups of people, that in the end we remember that answering to God is what will happen in the end and that we will be ready when it does.
Anyway, those different people that I talk to have shared with me about looking around them and seeing what others are doing and feeling pressured to do the same. This could be anything! Not just the "normal" things that pop in our heads. But, if you REALLY think about it, who are we answering to at the end of it all? Are we going to be compared by the people around us when time passes and we are called home? Not at all. God is the ultimate judge of how we were able to show the world His love. I am very much to blame as well when it comes to comparing myself with others.
But, what to do from here on out? Change. Obviously, it's much easier said than done but it's possible. With God's help, anything is possible. Referring back to Him and allowing Him to take control of our thoughts, feelings, and desires is very difficult to do so but when we do, our thoughts, feelings, and desires change because He is the focus of them. I could say, "Stop it! Stop comparing yourself to others!" But, I would be a hypocrite because I do the same thing. I know that I am going to be praying that God take those away from me. I pray for you as well that you are able to do so. The way to change this is to pray and leave it for God. He can take care of that for us. We just need to believe and trust that He will. So, instead of comparing and "answering" to everyone else.... listen to God. Who cares what they think?! God is ALWAYS going to be there.... those people? May not be. If they believe and turn themselves over to the One true God, then you will see them forever... but even then, no one will care because it's all about serving Him in the end. I love all of you out there that read about God and are trying to live your life for Him. And those who are not... I love you too. I pray for both groups of people, that in the end we remember that answering to God is what will happen in the end and that we will be ready when it does.