Today is a new start. I'm scared to say the least but I know, logically it is going to be just fine. I have started giving things to God that I know I cannot have anymore but I haven't completely let go because of fear. I just pray that God teaches me today that the only thing to do is to let go of everything and let Him take over. I knew that being a Christian was a scary thought and nothing would be easy. After all He never said it would be easy. I am know realizing that giving things to God means giving EVERYTHING to God. Now, I just need to do that.
I was talking with my roommate last night about how I look at others who have fallen away from God and have chosen a path (at least for the time being) that has nothing to do with Him. They seem to have an easy life. They seem to get what they want, i.e. money, relationships, material things, promotions, fun, etc. I try my hardest to do what I think is right and not get into any trouble and my life is so hard. In all honesty, I do get jealous of them sometimes. But, I look to see what they have fulfilled in their lives. I have a relationship with God that many of those people do not have anymore. I have a life that I can be thankful for because God blessed me with so many things. I just have to remember what He has given me instead of what I think I don't have. It's hard but once again, I know it'll be worth every sacrifice that I have to make in order to be able to do what God has in store for me. Like Jeremiah 29:11 says, "I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you hope and a future." This is kind of bitter sweet because this seems to be my family's verse. But, I guess there is a reason for that.
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