fulfilled and happy

Now for a change of pace (after all I am reading three books, at least for now).  Leslie Ludy wrote a book called "Sacred Singleness" and I'm really excited about it.  To get this post started, I wanted to share a little back story and about my life.  Ever since I can remember, I have wanted a boyfriend, a husband, someone to like, or someone to like me back.  It didn't matter.  I grew up with people who I guess I could call serial daters or boy crazy.  I know some of you are like, "Well, yeah.  I knew some people that were majorly boy crazy."  Ha.  Yeah.  Did you ever hear stories about girls having three or four dates in one day?  Yeah, that's how boy crazy some of my friends were.  Not only that, those who didn't date would jump from boy-to-boy-to-boy because they wanted to someone to like who would like them back.  Now, I am not saying that you cannot like someone who may or may not like you back or you cannot date at all.  However, I was that girl on the outskirts who would watch my friends date around or have so many crushes I lost count.  The one thing these girls did not know was that sometimes I wish I were them.  I wish I had someone to like or someone to like me back.  I wish some guys would like me enough to date me at all (I have had one boyfriend in my life).  Now, I am 24 and most of my childhood friends are engaged, married or now having kids.  I, however, still don't even have a boyfriend. 

Okay now that that back story is over let me continue with the rest of my blog.  I have friends who are happily married with children on the way.  I praise the Lord that they found their spouse and love each other enough to start a family.  I am thankful that they found their person and their family.  I really am.  I also know some of my friends who got married for the wrong reasons and now are going through divorces because they thought as soon as they got married they were going to be fulfilled and happy.  Does that phrase look familiar to you?  Did any of these girls ever think that maybe to be fulfilled and happy that they could seek God and He could fill the void that they are all searching for?  I wish I could hit some of them upside the head with a brick in order for them realize how much He loves them.  We sang a song tonight at Vespers that made me remember how much God truly does love me.  As much as I long for my future husband, and I do, and I write to him constantly, I know that no matter what happens, God loves and longs for me MORE than I long for my future husband.  How amazing is that?  The passion and romance we long for (guys, I know you do too, even if you don't admit it all the time) is right in front of us.  We just have to reach out and grab it.  God has been sitting there all along just waiting for us to realize that He is our passion and romance.  Now, as for me..... I need to be reminded of this.  I lost track of it for a couple of weeks but luckily I know He never left me.  I just ignored Him.  Now, that I am longing for that again..... I know I am fulfilled and happy with Him, always.