trusting God with everything

I have had major troubles in my life that require me to trust God with everything and not even give it a second thought.  My finances, school, more finances, family, friends, jobs, church... you name it, it's on my list of things that I have given to God in the past to take care of.  Just the last few days, have I realized that I was not giving everything up to Him within my last few years of college.  I mean, there were plenty of things that I let Him do, don't get me wrong.  I would not be where I am at today if I tried to control most of my life, let me tell you.  But, within the last few years, things have gotten tougher.  School has gotten harder, finances were almost the death of me, my friends are limited, sometimes my family does not understand me, church seemed far away and my jobs seem to be keeping me afloat but that's about it.  I was having a hard time.  I still am.  I thought school was over with, but I find out that I have to go an extra semester.  I can tell you I was not a happy camper.  But, I am realizing, slowly, but realizing that God was giving me extra time in order to help with my finances.  Look! There is one of my problems.  Then, I can probably get a job next fall because I am able to student teach two months before school starts again.  And, I have a church that is involving me and teaching more about myself and God then I ever thought possible. 

So, I have a question for you.  Why is it so hard for me to give up my love life to Him?  I have been able to allow everything else to be given to Him.  Honestly, singleness is a scary thought to me.  I do not want to be single the rest of my life.  That is one thing that I am terrified of.  But, who am I to know what God has for me?  He is God for crying out loud.  He is the one who created me and the desires of my heart.  Why should I not give this part to Him?  Like a turtle in peanut butter, I am slowly opening the door to my heart and allowing God to take control of my love life, as scary as it may be.  Quite honestly, I am not even looking at guys right now as possible people for me.  I just see them as everyone else because I know if God wants me to be with any of those people He will make it happen, so why am I looking?  From here on out, I'm not.  God is.

"You're blessed when you are out of options, and all you can do is lean on God.  Because when you realize your need for God, it is only then that you tap into His immeasurable greatness and goodness.  You're blessed when you've been stripped of that which is most precious to you.  Because only then can you be tenderly embraced by the One most precious to you." Matthew 5:3-5