purity

Today, I was looking up purity rings online.  I actually had one before but lost it when I was helping my sister move into her new house with her husband a few years back.  I know dramatic.  But, today, I was thinking about it.  First off, my right hand ring finger was itching to have a ring on it.  Not just any ring.  A ring that symbolized my purity and love for not just my future husband, but for God Himself.  I had been thinking about this this past week and what my purity really meant to me and my future husband.  Well, I had strayed for a few weeks trying to find "love" in all the wrong places (at least for me).  Online.  Yep, I said it.  Online dating.  HA.  Bad decision.  I found this guy who seemed to be an okay person until he opened his mouth.  He had been married before and had a son.  He claimed that he was a Christian and that he valued that in his future wife.  Well, once I started talking to him more (thinking we had the same values) I realized how completely wrong we were for each other.  Where my values lied (purity, strong Christian man, great father [at least for him], respect, etc), his did not.  He boasted about having women lined up around the block to sleep with him on any given night.  Well, this threw everything that I just named in parentheses out the window. 

I started questioning the kind of guy that I really wanted to be married to.  Well, as you can see, we stopped talking.  Yeah, not a hard choice to make.  I started listing the qualities that were important for me to have in my future husband.  But, then what about me?  What am I doing that could make myself better for him?  I can tell you that I am a virigin in almost every aspect of the word.  But, I was not living a pure life.  With it only being a week, I am still struggling but now what I found acceptable (even though I was hiding it) last week, I now cannot believe that I even thought in certain ways.  I'm almost repulsed by myself.  If I cannot live with myself, how can my future husband even look my direction?  Now I can honestly say that having that purity in God for my future husband is one thing that I am so glad that I have never given up to any man.  I reserve it just for him.  And I am proud to say so.  Long story short, I need a purity ring, stat.  But, what about you?  Are you thinking of your future husband/wife and their purity AND yours?  I long for purity in my future husband but how much I love for him to have the kind of purity, wouldn't I want him to have the same in me?  Are you giving yourself to every person that walks through that door or are you keeping yourself pure for the one that you can eventually call your husband/wife?  Eric Ludy mentions a conversation that he has with God in this book.  He felt God tugging at his heart asking Eric, "Just think, Eric!  If you desire purity in your wife, how much more do you think she desires purity... in you?