keeping yourself pure for THE one

In this society, it is so difficult to stay as pure as God had intended us to be for our future mate.  Christians struggle now and again with the lines of pure and where the line should stand.  Where should the line be set?  Should they cross the line?  What is okay to do and what is not?  It is so hard to keep a pure mind and body when everything is pointing to do what feels good instead of what is right to do.  I am so guilty of this.  I have had major sexual impurities in my past and looking back on it, I did not keep my Father or my future husband in my heart or mind during my downfalls.  This is one area that I have had to suffer through allowing God to take control and asking for forgiveness and excepting His forgiveness.  That is so hard to do.  Why should a God love me with all that I have put Him through?  What have I done to deserve the love and forgiveness that only God can give me?  Is my future husband going to forgive and love me the same way God calls him to love the church?  This is a hard concept to think about.  Something that I am going to have to share with my future spouse that only God knows.  I cannot imagine those people that have given their minds, bodies, and souls to people that couldn't care less about them.  I feel sorry for those people.  I feel sorry for their future and what it holds for them when they have to share those dirty details with someone who is supposed to love them unconditionally.  I'm honestly scared to share this part of my life with my future husband in fear of being rejected because of my not thinking of Him or even my future children before engaging in things that I know that I would regret.  I always had excuses and I never told my selfish flesh, no.  I have let my Father down and my future husband down.  The only thing I cand do now is pick myself back up and move on.  The past is the past and I cannot change that but I can certainly make myself a better person for my future husband.  I can make myself a better believer by giving that up to God and seeking Him more.  All I can say is, "Father, please forgive me and all my transgressions.  I give my life to You and I pray that I will always follow You no matter how much I don't want to."  Please think about what you are doing before engaging in things that when you have discussions with your Savior or your future spouse so you never have to have conversations that may make it or break it with what you have done.