painful days...

Lonely days can almost be more painful than we had ever thought.  Over a week ago, I had a painful day to where I was crying to my roommate about how I desperately wanted that person to be there and hold me and tell me that it is okay.  I needed that person to be there and just let me cry on their shoulder.  I cried about wondering if my future husband would ever be just that... would I even have a future husband?  Would I be single the rest of my life?  That is one hard pill to swallow.  It doesn't help that most of my life, even though people have prayed for my future spouse, has been full of what ifs and "Have you ever thought that maybe you are supposed to be single the rest of your life?" Or "maybe it's just not meant to be."  Okay, to a single person, that is the last thing you say to someone who wants to have that true love for the rest of their lives.  I mean, come on.  However, I have discovered that in those lonely moments that I just want to cry my eyes out and hurt and want to just hug my future husband, I pray more and I read more about the eternal love of my life.  I am able to remember why I am in pain in the first place.  That may sound negative but hang in there.  I am able to remember that the pain of waiting will give me what God has longed for me this whole time.  God wants something beautiful in my life and it's something that I cannot even begin to imagine.  I may want it desperately right now, but am I ready right now?  Is he ready?  So, in these painful, tear-filled days, I can remember to lean on God and He will ALWAYS pull me through.  I just have to be patient and faithful to myself, my husband, and my God.