virginity

I always thought that being a virgin meant not having sex before marriage.  Well, it does but I just had the conviction that being a virgin means not giving yourself to people or materialistic things in a physical manner that could make you feel guilt or ever just dirty.  The examples I'll give you are watching a movie with lots of nudity (that's not the dating part) or being with someone of the opposite sex and giving EVERYTHING to them without having intercourse.  I have not dated more than one guy in my life but looking back on it, I do remember having thoughts of I shouldn't be doing this right now when we were making out.  Making out, you say?  That's nothing.  But, it was to me.  I felt uncomfortable but I did it because he kept kissing me.  I had given that emotion to someone I knew even before we kissed for the first time that I would not be spending the rest of my life with him.  Why would I do that?  I was young and I didn't want to hurt people or make them upset with me so I just didn't say anything.  In fact, I am still very much like that (keep my feelings inside type of person) but when it comes to giving pieces of myself to people, I can say I have experimented with the idea without it having to be a person.  I sit here thinking how could I have thought that nay of that was okay?  I am disgusted with myself to think that I made excuses to make the bad decision a right one.  No matter how many ways you spin the bad decision that you are about to make, it still makes it bad.  It's like a wolf in sheep's clothing.  It may look appealing but deep down, everything is wrong about it.  I wish I would have learned that sooner.